Conversations Heard At My House

On Getting a Pet:

7 yr old, "Can we have a pet mouse?

Me, "No, I am not buying any mice. We are trying to get rid of mice"

8yr old, "Hey maybe *those* mice can be your pets"

7yr old, "Those aren't pets!! People don't kill their pets!!!"


On clothing:

3 yr old, "I look stupid in this shirt"

5 yr old, "No, you always look like that"


On gardening:

"You don't need to water those flowers. I peed on them for you"


On bugs:

3 yr old, "Did you see all the ants I brought inside to feed the toad"

Me, "Uh...no. Where did you put them."

3 yr old, "I put them right here, but now they are gone."

Me, "Oh NO!!"

3yr old, "Don't worry Mom, I can find more."


On breathing:

9yr old, "Do you think if I hold my breathe long enough I will turn blue and die?"

Me, going into long explanation of why this would not happen.

9 yr old, "Do you think maybe?"

Me, "No"

9yr old, "Well just maybe, right?"

Me, "Ummm, no"

9 yr old, "Well, you don't know everything so maybe it could happen."

Me, "Hey why don't you hold your breathe and try it?"

9 yr old, "Will you revive me?"

Me, "I won't need to"

9 yr old, "But what if you do?"

The loud banging heard next is me smacking my own head against the wall.